172727

Joke of the Day

"Kid: Mommy, can we get a pineapple? Mom: No, sweetie. I don't know how to cut them. Kid: I know Mommy! You use a knife."

"Queer Irishman Sean: Did ya here the one about the queer Irishman? Brian: No. Sean: Seems he was spotted leaving the pub at 11 o'clock with a girl. Brian: So? Sean: Closing time's one."

"my wife's friend is so pissed i made fun of his lazy eye he's having a hard time even looking at me"

"Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving? Because all they serve is cold turkey."

"A recently conducted study reveals... Birthdays are good for health people with more birthdays were found to have lived longer"

"Not everyone can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut... But then again, not everyone cuts their own hair."

"That voice inside my head has a different accent every time I read a new tweet"

"What is a terrorists favorite snack? An Allah Ak-bar"

"Nothing good can come out of answering your landline."

"Anyone ever see Stevie Wonders wife? Neither has he."