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Joke of the Day
"Today I read this book about Alzheimer's It was about Alzheimer's."
Next Joke
"You guys wanna hear a joke? My life."
"What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear? An algae bra."
"Knock knock... Who's there? The pilot, let me in."
"Imagine if our butt crack was horizontal There would be a clapping sound everytime we go up the stairs"
"[Reality TV] HOST: Welcome to America's Next Top Psychic! Please, try not to-- *One contestant stands up*: I WON! H: --ruin it."
"Why is [friend's name] always on the bottom? Because they won't stop fucking up"
"Can ""born this way"" apply to laziness?"
"Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep."
"Did you hear the one about the two gay Irish dudes? Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick"