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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock... Who's there? The pilot, let me in."

"Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Credit: Philip J. Fry"

"The worst thing about kissing the person who loves you the most is when you bang your teeth off the mirror"

"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."

"Phone Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond! Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!"

"Coffee is a miracle. Perhaps the only miracle. Does that sound crazy? I've had a lot of the miracle this morning. My eyes are shaking."

"Hey girl are you from Tennessee? Because I was wondering if you'd still be interested in me if I wasn't your cousin"

"You and a friend Jack go horse back riding. Jack is short and cannot get off his Horse. Would You help Jack Off His Horse!!??"

"Murder is like art, as long as you can bullshit your way into justifying it, someone out there will be like ""oh yeah, I totally get it."""

"How does one enter a brothel in Westeros? Through the Hodor"