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Joke of the Day

"[Interview] CEO: Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm? GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:"

"my life thats it thats the joke"

"Festive Fact: Women who put on weight over the festive period are 98% more likely to live longer than their partners who point it out."

"Someone called me racist for saying ""black paint"" Apparently the politically correct term is ""Tyrone, please paint the fence""."

"Have you heard that HPV had spread to birds? It has caused multiple cases of aviary cancer."

"Islam is a religion of piece. There's a piece of you over there, a piece over there, another over there.."

"I was having sex with a woman when her husband came early. Premature ejaculation is killing our sex life."

"What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."

"[date with girl I met at the park] Waiter: is everything ok, sir? Me:*fighting back the tears* Her:*sigh* he expected me to bring my dog."

"I'm not racist... I own a color tv!"