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Joke of the Day

"What's the most popular game at a nursing home? Guess who"

"Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make... Then they don't call me at all."

"Did you hear about the steak that had too much sodium put on it? It was assalted"

"50 Shades of Grey is also the title of the 101 Dalmatians alternate ending where Cruella wins and makes a coat out of the puppies."

"What's black and sits at the top of stairs? Stephen Hawking after a house fire."

"Why won't anti vaxers ever win an election? All their supporters are home with sick kids"

"""We're not buying another toy until Mommy gets laid!"" might not be the most appropriate thing to yell in ToysRUs."

"I like my women like I like my microwaves... Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing and able to kill any baby I put inside them."

"Pregnancy in the 1940's. (Doc) - ""Mrs. Smith, I have some **great** news for you"".... (Patient) - ""Thats MISS Smith, doctor!"".... (Doc) - ""Miss Smith, I have some *bad* news for you""...."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tyred. Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom."