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Joke of the Day

"[emergency] [super hero appears] GUY: It's Doesn't-Understand-Rhetorical-Questions Man. Boy, am I glad to see you! HERO: I...I don't know"

"I'm giving up sex for Lent.. .. It shouldn't be too hard."

"Why does Santa have a big sack? He only comes once a year. Why does he only come once a year? He only goes to see children once a year."

"What's the difference between your dick and your jokes? Nobody laughs at your jokes."

"I walked into my glass door today Oh the pane..."

"Circle? Donut! Triangle? Pizza! Cylinder? Tater tot! - me teaching our 2yr old shapes"

"Prostitutes hate trick-or-treaters."

"How small you are in the universe In class there is a sub in class and is talking about how small I am in the universe and I reply ""teacher I'm small in the universe but I know were I'm big"""

"My sister asked if I stole her cream sweater. Uh, yeah. Who else would've stolen it? You think a burglar broke in and was like ""Cute top!"""

"Did you hear the new classical piece of music commissioned by the church? It's called ""I slipped and fell in A minor""."