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Joke of the Day

"When a CW is coming out of the men's room as I walk past, I always ask if everything went well because that's the polite thing to do."

"The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing."

"When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5? Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak"

"Ran into an ex-girlfriend. We talked, exchanged info, and she said her ""insurance would call"" me. Someones still carrying a torch!"

"Why is it bad to mix Islam and Hinduism? Because you might get Sikh"

"Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bee? It's a tender tail!"

"""On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you're in charge."" - my advice to new teachers"

"I like my women how I like my coffee... Cheap, and from a third world country"

"Life without you is like a broken pencil Doesn't fucking matter to me"

"Playing Oregon Trail. You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, ""That's a girl's name!"" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry."