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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top she's old enough. If it isn't cut the barrel down a bit."

"In the doctor's office ""I think you should get hammered and fuck a lot of women"" ""What can I say doctor, you are the best psychiatrist I have ever had..."""

"I thought The Walking Dead was having a special tonight.... Turns out it was just The Rolling Stones performing at the 12/12/12 concert."

"So my friend tells me that he's thinking about creating a new strain of Marijuana called ""Comcast"". It'll sound really good but it won't get you very high."

"A jealous woman...can make the FBI look like mall security."

"First time I saw a dry erase board I said thats ""remarkable"""

"I call my car 'The Forest Whitaker' because the left light barely works."

"What do you call am alligator in a vest? An illogical situation imagined by a child."

"What did the quadruple amputee say when he couldn't solve the riddle? I'm stumped."

"TIL Supreme Court judge kidnapped by cannibals in the Caribbean! Justice was served."