59553
Joke of the Day
"""I can't feel my legs"" --mermaids"
Next Joke
"I miss my dog so much since he died, I just paid a homeless guy to come over and take a shit on my kitchen floor and then eat it."
"do they have the fourth of July in the UK? Of course it comes after the third and before the fifth of July"
"A man walks into a bar in Westeros And the bartender says ""stop speaking in third person Jaqen for fuck's sake"""
"Nothing annoys me more than when I'm talking to someone about music and for some reason they think their opinion is as valid as mine."
"French girls are great... For example, my French girlfriend taught me how to eat out in the bush."
"Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops"
"My new telly is brilliant, it shows 50 frames per second. I managed to watch the whole of the snooker world championships in less than a minute."
"What do you call a black man flying a plane? Pilot. You racist fuck."
"Why are Eskimos always alone? Because they like being ice-olated"