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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar And the bartender says ""I have a shot named after you"" The grasshopper replies ""you have a shot named Steve?!"" My bartender friend told me this, thought I should share"

"Where do ninjas come from? Out of nowhere!"

"What did the farmer tell the hoe? Let's get dirty."

"Me: ""I like you."" Date: ""I like you, too."" Me: ""Well this just got boring."""

"LPT: what to do when someone is having a seizure in a bathtub Throw in a load of laundry."

"Why couldnt you trust Castros wife? Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now"

"*takes cat from pocket of doctor's coat & holds it over patient* He has finished his scan. He says he doesn't like you & you have cancer."

"When I see a self-help book at a secondhand store, I wonder...does that mean it worked, or it is bullshit?"

"Quebec lovers Why do Quebecers like to make love doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game at the same time!"

"No matter where you live, there's always 1 light switch that doesn't do anything."