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Joke of the Day

"A person followed me and then unfollowed me within 3 minutes. How can they judge me after only seeing 47 tweets?"

"My favorite short joke. How much cum does a queer have? ... A buttload. I always found this humorous because a lot of people use 'shit load' or 'fuck ton' as units of measure."

"TIL 6.7 billion people are the minority By arrogant ignorant Americans."

"Ho Ho Ho Do you know; There is a dyslexic devil cult who worship Santa??"

"ZOMBIE 1: why do we eat brains? ZOMBIE 2: because. It's food for thought! haha ZOMBIE 1: [sigh]"

"Oscar Pistorius wants a new bathroom door His girlfriend is dead against it."

"""Spirits, are you there?"" [ouija board] IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT ""Damn it, we've held a seaonce again!"""

"The odds of an asteroid hitting Earth are the same as one bullet hitting another bullet in a duel. Dinosaurs: We'll take those odds!"

"Why do actors like snooker halls? Because that's where they get their best cues."

"Why didn't the lesbians go shopping for sports equipment? Because they don't like Dicks."