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Joke of the Day
"Why was six afraid of seven? (twist) Because seven was a registered six offender."
Next Joke
"I have high cholesterol, so my doctor has me on the ""period"" diet One egg a month"
"Why are bananas so popular? Because they have appeal"
"Hobbies include: 1. Crying about the past 2. Procrastinating in the present 3. Worrying about the future"
"Putting on mascara without opening my mouth is on my bucket list"
"I just had a phone call saying I'd won 250 cash or two tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It said Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show......"
"God loves everyone You know, it's in that book you hold up when you're yelling at gay people."
"Did you hear about that Hollywood actress who got stabbed? Um what's her name? Blonde girl, Reece someone .... ""Witherspoon?"" No, no. It was with a knife."
"You only live once, so don't forget to spend 16 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers."
"Being on twitter has made my spelling, grammar and vocabulary so much gooder."