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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard Adrian peterson used to play baseball? He might play for the twins this year. Apparently he is a switch hitter."

"Jim: What shall we name our new playground invention? Roy: Idk. The playground business sure is a Jungle, Jim. Jim: ...Say that again."

"I was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old girl... I dunno, I thought she was older than that. I guess that makes two reasons why I'm a bad father."

"Just Juan How many Mexicans does it take to build a lightbulb?"

"I met a pirate the other day that had a steering wheel in his pants. I asked him what that was. He said: ""rrrr ...i don't what it izz but it's driving mezzz nuts"""

"What did one businessmen voyeur say to the other? I'll have my peephole call your peephole."

"If you want a medical degree, they're literally hanging on doctor's walls. Grab one."

"Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left."

"*Pillsbury Doughboy approaches mic* I would like to apologize for my recent actions, but would remind you I never claimed to be a roll model"

"GTA: Online servers"