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Joke of the Day

"I met a pirate the other day that had a steering wheel in his pants. I asked him what that was. He said: ""rrrr ...i don't what it izz but it's driving mezzz nuts"""

"Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."

"What idiot called it a vet instead of a dogtor."

"Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns? Because they taste funny."

"I don't know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you."

"What do you call it when you're run over by a German? Hunover."

"A guest at a restaurant asks the waiter... ""do you have lobster tails?"" The waiter replies: ""Of course! Once upon a time, there was a little lobster....."""

"How do you make a woman go blind? Put a windshield in front of her."

"Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied 'er!"