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Joke of the Day

"Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You have the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nah. You're just pulling my leg."""

"The secret of recent explosion of Antares rocket The decades old Soviet rocket engines it used were engineered to fly TO America, not AWAY from it."

"What happened to the clock that was still hungry? It went back 4 seconds."

"I'm deathly afraid of elevators. I take a lot of steps to avoid them."

"Fortunately I've never been brainwashed, so my mind gets dirtier each day."

"For sale: Thick layer of dust As seen on TV."

"I can count the number of times I actually used a flyer on one hand... And still have five fingers remaining."

"Did you hear about the pirate who used to walk the plank every night? Well, he couldn't afford a dog."

"How does an octopus go to war? Armed."

"Did you hear about the Casino that hired a Blacksmith? He who smelt it, dealt it."