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Joke of the Day

"What happened to the clock that was still hungry? It went back 4 seconds."

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"Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn't have an ear for music."
"Do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand."
"Why is marriage is like an alarm clock? After the ring, you wake up!"
"I thought I'd spent all night disco dancing with this girl in a club. But apparently she was deaf and telling me to f*ck off'."
"I just passed my drug test my dealer has some explaining to do"
"FLIGHT ATTENDANT: would you like me to throw that away for you? RACCOON: *clutching banana peel* this is my carry on thank you very much"
"Did you hear about the logical skunk? It made sense."
"How do you sink a French battleship? Put it in water."
"Opening a store called The Gorp! It's exactly like The Gap except we sell gravy."