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Joke of the Day

"My favorite palindromes I've come across are tit and boob."

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"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket..... and thinks, ""some asshole has my pen"""
"Is it considered sexual assault to masturbate while cyber bullying? If so, I owe a pretty heartfelt apology to some members of PlaystationNetwork."
"My favorite episode of Friends is the one where blacks mysteriously vanish and unemployed white people find affordable housing in Manhattan."
"My laptop is creeping me out. It keeps saying hello to me. Maybe it's because it's a Dell."
"I wrote a book about a man that chokes to death on his own fart. I've called it: ""Gone With The Wind""."
"This cashier was totally just checking me out, you guys."
"You can't force someone to love you. All you can do is hire a panda suit and wait outside their window reading sonnets."
"While I was very disappointed & angry to find my daughter smoking a cigarette I'll be damned if she didn't look cooler."
"I just saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was riveting."