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Joke of the Day

"So I told my wife I ate a bunch of pineapple today ;-) But then as I came in her mouth, I said ""oh yeah, and a bunch of bacon too"""

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Flatbread"

"I got my bucket list mixed up with my shopping list Swam with dolphin-safe tuna."

"I got invited to my first HS party... ten years too late, fuck you all i'm not going to the reunion, get bent."

"Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys? A LockSith."

"A cop came to my house and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes that's ridiculous I said, my dogs don't ride bikes."

"I know a really good reverend Jim Jones joke. I'd tell it, but the punch line is too long."

"DATE: so this is my dad and this is his porcelain cat collection ME: wow, I feel like I'm in a DATE: no ME: mewseum DAD: *nods his approval*"

"Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt."

"What do you get when a camel pukes in the desert? A hot mess."