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Joke of the Day

"A very tough question to answer If con is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress?"

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"When I lose my glasses I become a horrible plumber because I can't see shit."
"How are Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad the same? They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15."
"If Hillary debates Trump for 24 hours, what won't you hear? A word of truth."
"It's hard to have a Polaroid camera and not seem ""kidnappy""."
"What brand of car would the Roadrunner be? Jeep Jeep"
"Things I've learned on Twitter: 1. A Twitter Crush is not a soft drink 2. Naps rule 3. Pants are optional 4. Everybody hates Nickelback"
"For Sale: 2-in-1 Menthol Shampoo Great hairwash. Mint condition."
"What do you call your Mexican crush? Juan Andonle"
"Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer. Justice: A decision in your favor."
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