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Joke of the Day

"Sucks that these Crest strips only come in white"

"I have a six figure salary.. $000,000 It's not much, but it's honest work"

"Why is everyone always late to Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Anonymous meetings? Because they're all tied up, but coming soon."

"Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend."

"I waited 279 days before I made my first post on Reddit, apparently I could've waited 558 days and received the same response."

"xpost from /r/tellmeajoke TMAJ that includes ""shotgun"" and ""paring knife"""

"Someone broke into the local police station and stole the toilet. Right now the cops have nothing to go on."

"How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven? Jesus said to him ""Behold! I am risen!"" and he said ""That's nice I don't bereave you."""

"Why do you never see any bugs in a church? Because they are in sects."

"Oh you can bench 50 kilograms? I literally don't know if that's 100 pounds or a billion."