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Joke of the Day

"*Ok, don't let them know you're a dog* Him: The job is yours. Here's the keys to your new office. [tosses keys] *catches keys in my mouth*"

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"Tonight I made some synonym rolls Just like Grammar used to make"
"My wife says I have a short attention spanish is a beautiful language isn't it?"
"Just had a vegetarian meal with a nonalcoholic beverage at a restaurant whose produce are 80% locally grown. Feeling pretty smug."
"Being football fans ... Why do all the trees in Wisconsin lean to the south ? Because Minnesota blows & Chicago sucks"
"Your mother's cooking"
"Two fonts walked into a bar... The bartender said: ""Sorry, we don't want your type in here."""
"Party host: Anyone here allergic to nuts? Because I like to rest mine on the table."
"An original joke. Sorry, wrong subreddit."
"Who's the King's best mathematician? Sir Cumference"