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Joke of the Day

"15 year olds be like I remember 9/11"

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"What do you call it when two Mexicans were in a car accident and one had both legs amputated? Juan and a half"
"Have you seen the prices of Almonds and Cashews? They're nuts."
"what was adam's nickname for eve? prime rib"
"People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!"
"How does good king Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp, and even."
"Teacher: ""Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"" Student: ""A heart attack."""
"I'm the most bashful person in the world, until you get me on the dance floor. Then I become the most bashful newborn giraffe in the world."
"Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets... It's called Halo3.**ods**t"
"Your voice reminds me of a fart. It smells and nobody likes it."