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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a stampede that runs in circles? NASCOW"

"So, two muffins are sitting in an oven.... So two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other, ""Man, its hot in here."" The other muffin replied, ""OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells? A dead centipede."

"I have an ungodly amount of Taco Bell hot sauce packets for being a grown woman who's nutritionally responsible for two children."

"Classic nursery rhyme Jack and Jill went up a hill, each had a quarter. Jill came down with fifty cents, you think they went for water?"

"The phrase ""Whatever floats your boat"" is misleading because, practically speaking, the only thing that's going to float your boat is water."

"I'm so confused when the TV voice before a show I'm about to watch says, ""For mature audiences only."" Can I watch or not?"

"What one food is known to decrease sex drive in women more than any other? Wedding cake."

"The last thing my father said to me before he kicked the bucket Hey, son. Check out how far I can kick this bucket"

"Chinese culture lesson In china people used to eat weed That's why they saw dragons and can't open their eyes again."