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Joke of the Day

"Funny Conversation that actually happened to me Me: Hey Dray is that a new watch? Dray: Yeah man Me: Smooth, what kind of watch is it? Dray: Guess Me: Just tell me, I don't know my watches very well."

"Me: Forgive me father I have sinned Priest: Get out of my house M: But it's a big sin P: *sigh* Speak child M: I broke into your house"

"Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first."

"Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots."

"What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you? A buffa*loan.*"

"I saw an old French prostitute last night, what's her name? Toulouse."

"The recipe said ""Set the oven to 180 degrees,"" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall."

"You don't know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, an you take all the covers with you."

"My wife has a memory like an elephant I just wish she didn't look like one"

"I've been thinking about Oscar Pistorious's case... I don't think he's got a leg to stand on."