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Joke of the Day

"When attempting to make a good first impression imagine how important good grammar is. Wrong. Importanter."

"What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights? Drive faster."

"This kid is walking down the street. This kid is walking down the street with just a shoe on. He meets a friend who asks him: ""What happened? Have you lost a shoe?"" ""No, I found one."""

"I have a friend who is a Jehovah's Witness. He tried to tell me a knock knock joke and got all pissed off when I ignored him."

"Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me. now if i were a diamond ring, where would i hide ..."

"Dinner-$25 Margarita-$8 Girls night out-$33 Yelling ""Hey Sl@t"" and watching 12 different girls turn around- Priceless"

"What do you call an atheist cartoon? Fedora the explorer"

"""Shake what your mama gave ya."" ""You want me to shake a $25 Macy's gift card?"""

"What do you call a riot in Baltimore? Target practice."

"Scientists have recently discovered the existence of a mentally unstable microscopic parasite on the moon... Apparently it's a real lunatic"