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Joke of the Day
"I like my women how I like my computer. On my lap. Turned on. Virus free."
Next Joke
"I wanted to start my own last minute grandma rental service... But the name InstaGram was already taken."
"If an illegal immigrant sets fire to their arm Is it an illegal firearm?"
"Earth? yeah, I'd hit that -meteor"
"Why don't cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue."
"How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!"
"The other day I was mocking my wife, ""Why do you wear a bra? You've got nothing to put in it.""...... Fucking bitch replied, ""You wear briefs, don't you?"""
"You left a note on the fridge saying ""This isn't working. Goodbye"" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don't get it."
"Doctor asks a patient... Do you use drugs or alcohol? Patient: Nope, but I vape. Doctor: So a no for sexual activity?"
"Wife: Did you give the kids a bath? Me: I got the dirt off. Wife: What does that mean? Me: *hides the leaf blower*"