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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field."

"*Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*"

"A guy got hit by a car in his left side. He's all right now."

"My mother in law just died... It was a blessing though. I had been suffering for years."

"My fiancee asked me why I always back into parking spots... I told her ""guys typically want to just pull out"". She was not amused."

"It's a fun and games til I get super drunk, flip the Monopoly board and tell everyone to get the hell out of my house."

"*wakes up early* *goes for morning jog* *calls wife to pick him up because he's made a terrible mistake*"

"Guy: Do you like Cds? Girl: Um, sure that's a weird question why? Guy: Cuz u about to see deez nuts!"

"Slugs are obviously snails that have been through a divorce."

"I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth My parents were into some kinky shit"