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Joke of the Day

"My cousins baby child keeps pointing at me and saying 'cat'"

"I used to work in a mental institution, but I kept getting blood all over my hands. *menstrual"

"I just saw two guys high five. What the hell? I thought we got rid of these people."

"So today's my wife's birthday... I went out and bought her some flowers and a vibrator. That's so if she doesn't like the flowers she can go fuck herself."

"What do you call a very religious person who sleep walks? A Roman Catholic."

"Dogs are terrible hosts They get angry if you try to use their bathroom."

"I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino."

"A friend asked me to tell him where 'Muscat' is I thought about it for a while and said ""Oh man!"". He said ""Yeah man"", I replied ""That's Sana'a"". I'm really confused now."

"I would vote for Trump if I could because I've never seen a president get assassinated"

"What do you tell a woman with no arms or legs? Nice tits."