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Joke of the Day

"What do a walrus and a tupperware container have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"Why is Bernie Sanders seems like having a long nose? because AIR IS FREE"

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Fucked"

"Dyslexic, but I have a cunning stunt."

"Hear about the guy who had a fetish for Christmas? He was fucking crackers."

"My love life is like my video game I always play single player, and I can never find anyone who wants to play co-op"

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itselfnnANDnnWhen a women asks if you notice anything different"

"Waiter waiter! There's a mosquito in my soup. Don't worry sir mosquitoes have very small appetites !"

"Bernie Sanders had a rally in Los Angeles last night attended by over 27,000 supporters. The rally set the world record for most Priuses in one parking lot."

"*confidently throws the empty macaroni box in the garbage because I don't need instructions* *pulls the box back out 3 times to make sure*"