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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Fucked"
Next Joke
"before stairs there'd be someone on the second floor and people would ask ""how'd you get up there"" and they'd be like ""i don't know"""
"What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ? Ulta Magnus!"
"We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control."
"I'm going back to my surgeon to get my dressing changed tomorrow. Or, to put it another way... I'm seeking redress from the man who cut me."
"What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out? A phoney friend!"
"So I just asked my SO's mother the agenda for tomorrow's festivities... And my girlfriend interrupted with ""Well I'll be female""."
"First comes the engagement ring... then the wedding ring... and then finally suffering.."
"What do you call it when your Arab parents disaprove of your girlfriend? Harambe"
"Why don't bears wear boots? Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet."