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Joke of the Day

"When people say ""I'm not getting any younger!"" I wonder what other basic life concepts they just learned."

"What do you call a fake noodle? an impasta."

"PARK RANGER: to be a guide you need to be able to name all the animals ME: no problem [later w/ a group] ME: that's Greg, & that's Linda..."

"How do you piss off 2 feminazis? Put them in a room with each other"

"I love Isis She's my favourite pharaoh."

"Karen on Facebook says... ""Going to the dentist now. Hate having things put in my mouth!!! :("" That's probably why your husband left, Karen."

"Sharks would be a lot less scary if they had ears."

"If You Have Never Seen A Galaxy Explode Just head to the nearest Samsung store."

"Why can't an orphan play baseball? It couldn't find home"

"Is this your resume? ""Yep"" It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away ""Oh yes"" Welcome to UPS!"