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Joke of the Day

"Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria's Secret Angels."

"Drugs made me responsible. If it weren't for drugs I might have never started working at 15."

"My burrito brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, ""Careful, everything is falling out from the other side."""

"What's the difference between a goat and a ram? I can't goat my dick in your ass."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the restroom? Because the ""p"" is silent!"

"What's 18 inches long, and makes a woman scream the entire night? Her dead baby."

"Guess what I saw? wood"

"I called a dentist.. I: I would like an appointment. Dentist: Sure, what time would you like to come. I: Two thirty."

"How does a frog fasten two objects together? Rivets."

"You get what you get and you don't get upset... You have cancer."