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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that the idea of recycling actually came about from a group of pirates? They came up with the idea of the four R's."

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? nothing."

"[Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom] ""I've counted these fries."""

"Three Muslims walk into a bar... They get shot, because Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol."

"What is something that you never forget on a field trip? 9/11."

"A duck walks into a pharmacy grabs a tube of lipstick, puts it on the counter and the cashier says ""that'll be $3.50. The duck says ""just put it on my bill"""

"At some point I really want to manage a Wal-mart in Texas. I want to be a Texas Chain Store Manager."

"I'm old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy."

"Happy 15th bday, Internet Explorer! We baked you a cake. What's that funny taste? Definitely not poison. Have another slice!"

"I said to the wife, ""I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today... ...but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' ""."