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Joke of the Day

"[Describing the adjective thief to a sketch artist] Sketch Artist: Can you describe what he looked like? Me: Not anymore I can't"

"Sometimes when I can't sleep I stare into the darkness and think how uncomfortable it must be to have balls between your legs."

"I went to a Jewish wedding, and spotted a red sign. It said, ""In case of wedding, break glass"""

"Q: What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican? A: Oil of Ole'"

"Isis Isis Babe."

"Daddy, where do bananas come from? Well son, when a manana and a womanana really love each other..."

"What do you call an underwater adventure with a Great Dane? Scooby-Diving"

"Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ? He liked to chop and change !"

"""Dammit"" or ""Damnit"" are both acceptable, unless you are over the age of sixty, in which case ""Dagnabit"" is required."

"44 of my Facebook friends changed their profile pictures. My life is fucking insane."