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Joke of the Day

"Time zones are crazy On new years eve some parts of the world are in 2017, some are in 2016, and a large portion of the U.S. is still stuck in 1940."

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"I broke my finger today but on the other hand I am completely fine"
"Just flipped my son off behind his back because I'm an adult and don't get into arguments with 4 year olds."
"The Great Spam Recycler"
"Two messiahs walk into a bar and the bartender says ""There's no prophet in this!"""
"The difference between a prostitute and drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and resell it."
"When I die I want to go quietly, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and freaked out, like his passengers were."
"What do you call a borderline racial slur about a person of Asian decent? A slippery slope."
"Leonardo Dicaprio must be sad. He only has one Oscar instead of many."
"Did you know Helen Keller had a swing in her backyard? Neither did she."