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Joke of the Day
"What happened to the two zombies who went on a date? They had a *Necro*mantic** time."
Next Joke
"The reason Microsofts new browser is code named Spartan, is because they know it's gonna kick people all the time."
"Who was appointed as a proof reader of Hitler's speeches? A Grammar Nazi"
"what if you thought you had met your soul mate but then you saw them put mayonnaise on a hotdog"
"Why was Betty Boop never attracted to Mickey Mouse? She's only attracted to colored guys."
"[at funeral] Me: ""I'm sorry your husband died in that boating accident in Venice"" Widow: ""please no.... Me: ""you have my gondolances"""
"What do you call a bunch of Christmas nuts bragging about their sex lives in a hotel lobby? Chestnuts boasting in an open foyer."
"What's the most dishonest creature in the sea? The Lionfish."
"Girl, are you an HM move? 'Cause I can't seem to forget about you!"
"WIFE: why is the dog wearing a tux? ME: u said to groom him WIFE: i meant brush ME: oh...sorry buddy, wedding's off DOG: this is bullshit"