198366

Joke of the Day

"My wife bought me a second hand watch for my birthday... Anyway, better be going. The football starts in... 1200 seconds."

"[museum] Wheres the dinosaur bone exhibit? ""through that door"" Thank you very ruff! ""What'd you say?"" *2 dogs fall out of trench coat & run*"

"What is the difference between a peeping tom and a pick pocket? A pickpocket snatches watches"

"What did the Chinese man say when ophthalmologist told him he had a cataract? *No, I have a Rincoln Continental!*"

"what do u call a turtle running on a 9V rechargeable battery? Dura-Shell"

"It is rude to start a Twitter account and not state within 48 hours that you want to see what all the fuss is about."

"Dad: ""So what are you going to do after you graduate?"" Me: ""well, mom said we'll probably go out somewhere to eat"""

"What did JFK say about his multiple affairs? ""I did them not because they were easy, but because I was hard."""

"What kind of tea do wealthy people own? Proper-Tea"

"What did the angry Indian man say at the bakery? I'm having naan of it."