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Joke of the Day

"Me to waitress: Do you validate? Waitress: Parking, you mean? Me: No. Like, can I read you some tweets and you tell me if you like them?"

Next Joke
 
"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting her back in the wheelchair"
"My Favorite Fairy Tale The dog who cried woof"
"Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes? Sears."
"What's the difference between a corn husker with tourettes, and a prostitute with diarrhea? One fits before they shuck, the other shits before they fuck."
"My Ex-Girlfriend is Like a Box of Chocolates She'll kill your dog."
"What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt? Usain Bolt can finish a race."
"Gerard Butler: Can I get sugar? Waiter: This is sugar. *GB stands pissed* GB: THIS..IS...SPLENDA!! *GB kicks waiter through glass panel*"
"She puts the hot in psychotic"
"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb Exactly one. They are efficient... and have no humor."