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Joke of the Day

"Los Angeles announced plans to lease 288 all-electric police cars. Do you know where they'll use them? In Watts. I'll see myself out now."

"One time I got drunk and took the bus... Now that may not sound impressive to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"2 dads walk into a bar... One turns to the other and says ""that hurt""."

"In our football match today the opposition hit the bar three times in the first half. I know we're not very good but they could have at least waited until the end to celebrate."

"My wife thinks I'm cheating on her with our babysitter... I think she's just bitter because she's never been able to have kids..."

"Yoy can't write an essay overnight You can't write an essay overnight but you have to in 30 minutes for a test."

"What is the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."

"Cow joke What's wrong with Bessie? She looks like she's in constant pain! She has mooootiple sclerosis"

"My first time having sex was a lot like my first time in church.. Actually, come to think of it, it was my first time in church."

"Funny how we say ""I drank a *pot* of coffee"" instead of ""I drank fourteen cups of coffee and chased the cat around the hot tub with a sword"""