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Joke of the Day

"Misunderstood gift! My lesbian neighbours gave me a rolex for my birthday. Really sweet of them, but i think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch"""""

"I like telling science puns... Just to see the reaction..."

"What's Dean Martin's favorite eel? That's a moray."

"What type of wife always knows where her husband is? A widow"

"I found out blowing in the dogs face makes her stop barking. I tried the same thing on my wife to make her stop yelling and she bit me."

"This just in! You read this"

"If the 2008 election was about Hope and Change, what is 2016? Fear and Loathing."

"The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants.. ... Though, they do make me look a bit gay."

"A nerdy pastry chef walks up to the girl he likes and says 'your beauty is infinite. . . . . . . just like Pi.'"

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."