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Joke of the Day

"When I was your age, I was outside all day until dark 15: The batteries on cell phones must have been a lot better back then Me: ........."

"Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat? To see if there was any more money in the kitty!"

"It was always going to be a yes vote on gay marriage in Ireland. . . No reason to drink otherwise."

"I thought about starting a business selling halos... ...but the cost of overheads was too high."

"Did you hear there was a sequel to The Boy in the Striped Pajamas where he visits Charlie in his chocolate factory? It's called the Gas Elevator (I know I'm going to hell for this)"

"Want to know a Harry Potter riddle? Tom Marvolo"

"My girlfriend doesn't give me any space in the bed, so I bought a bigger bed."

"My random thoughts Hmm I usually don't laugh out loud. But I have tried multiple times to laugh my fucking ass off. But it never falls off! :("

"I was thinking about how duckling is our word for little ducks... so I canceled my order for steamed dumplings."

"choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun"