57462

Joke of the Day

"*rises out of ball pit* thanks for agreeing to meet me here"

"Lawyer: ""Let me give you my honest opinion."" Client: ""No no. I'm paying for professional advice."""

"Last year I felt depressed and miserable, but this year I've managed to turn it around. Now I feel miserable and depressed."

"Hubby's ex emailed him wanting to ""reconnect"". I wanna pretend to be him & set it up so I can re CONNECT my foot up her ass"

"If the government keeps doing nothing for much longer, it will get its own reality show on E!"

"Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

"Q: What do you call a spooky waterway? A: The Eerie Canal."

"Did you hear about the Chinese brother's that tried to start a German Empire? Turns out two Wongs don't make a Reich."

"Pair of Twins I've been shagging a pair of twins recently, and my friend asked me ""How do you tell the difference?"". I told him ""It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..."" ""..and Derek has a moustache"""

"I always used to think my parents are like siblings' sounds so much better than, my parents are, like, siblings.'"