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Joke of the Day
"Doctor doctor I've only got 59 seconds to live. Wait a minute please."
Next Joke
"Richard Nixon makes a really awful dinner for his wife. He defends himself by saying ""I am not a cook""."
"Super convenient that my arms came with cup holders."
"My dad has the heart of a lion And a life time ban from the San Diego Zoo."
"Took a class at Trump University but ... ... the textbook had four Chapter 11s."
"Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"What is Bill and Ted's favorite book of the bible? Duderonomy! They also like Leviticus."
"""Daddy, how do you spell Budweiser?"" ""Uhhh....why?"" ""I'm drawing a picture of you for school."" ""Cool! It's spelled G-A-T-O-R-A-D-E."""
"I don't ever use my blinker. It's nobody's business where I'm going."
"Taking my 4 year old to see Straight Outta Compton. I can't remember ever being this excited for a movie that's rated G."