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Joke of the Day

"ALFRED: *wringing out wet birthday party invitation* it's difficult to read, but i'd hazard a guess at aquaman, master wayne"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brother ! Brother who ? Brother-ation I've forgotten your name !"

"What tastes great on pie but bad on pussy? Crust"

"What do you call a man holding a machine gun? Sir"

"5 year old niece to me: What do you want to be when you grow up? Me: Let's not rush things, OK?"

"Taco Bell is human Drano"

"how do you catch a unique cat? unique up on it. (im sorry)"

"I hate it when my teachers hit on me. It sucks being homeschooled."

"One-Liner: Jobs growth in the United States is now down to just hair and fingernails."

"All I want from Uber is to be driven around until I fall asleep, carried over the driver's shoulder into my home, and tucked into bed"