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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile yesterday... ...so I said, ""That's a big word for a seven-year-old"""

"oooooo ....that went deep I was at the drug store buying condoms and the cashier said .... would you like a bag with those sir.... I said... nahh shes not that ugly....."

"What's green and eats nuts? Syphillis"

"Q: What would happen if black widow spiders were as big as horses? A: If one bit you, you could ride it to the hospital."

"So a homeless man comes up to us... ""If I tell you a funny joke, would you pay me a quarter?"" My pal from Rhode Island say in a thick northeastern accent: ""I gotta funny joke fo' yah... Yah homeless."""

"I just had an AMAZING salad at McDonalds. The toppings I chose were 4 big macs & 10 chicken mc nuggets with 9 sweet & sour packs as dressing"

"Sex is a misdemeanor; the more I miss, the meaner I get!"

"Apparently googling ""how to get suspended with pay"" from my work computer is frowned on by my employer."

"Why are farmers cruel? Because they pull corn by the ears."

"how do you tell a joke without a punchline?"