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Joke of the Day
"Me: Is there any particular way you don't want your name pronounced? Percy: Not per se"
Next Joke
"What do you call a video game that gives cancer? Tombr Aider"
"Why is religion like mobile gaming? Free-to-pray, pray-to-win."
"Derek Acorah got sacked from Most Haunted for advertising bio-yoghurt in breech of his contract. That's what you get for dabbling in the Yakult."
"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it."
"I had this problem where the cap wouldn't stay on my whiskey bottle. So I fixed it with scotch tape."
"What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name? You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough."
"If we've gone swimming together you can be certain that at some point you've swam through my pee"
"911: What's your emergency? Me: I brought a girl home last night 911: That's not an- Me: NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE! *swat team busts down my door*"
"An old lady at the park said to me today, ""I see your dog's fetching balls.""I said, ""I know he has but, at your age, you shouldn't really be looking."""