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Joke of the Day

"What's a best friend? One who goes out and gets two blowjobs, then comes back and gives his buddy one"

"I missed your birthday because I didn't log onto Facebook that day. #LetsBeReal"

"Why do ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies."

"In person it's lying, but in texting, you can just call it a typo."

"I don't have a racist bone in my body. But my cartilage does not care for Mexicans."

"Im voting Hillary Clinton this year. Because she dosnt suck"

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow? A stern letter from the ethics committee and an immediate cessation of funding. *stolen from I Fucking Love Science"

"My hamster died as he lived... in the microwave."

"What version of Counter-Strike do feminists get? Counter-Feminist: Globally Offended"

"An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. I know because they posted it repeatedly on Facebook."