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Joke of the Day

"Mistletoe is my favorite Christmas tradition that sounds like a cool as shit superpower."

"How is Trump different from Hitler? Unlike Hitler Trump wants to round up every Juan. Edit : No offence to Trump supporters or anyone!"

"When I see lovers' names carved into a tree I don't think it's sweet, I think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"""Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!"" - Polite home-schooled kid I met today."

"What do the LGBT community and computers have in common? Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!"

"Chopped beef and pea soup What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!"

"A joke for fall. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell."

"Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey."

"The chicken and egg have sex The chicken, enjoying a post coital cigarette, turns to the egg and says ""Well, that answered that old question"""

"Grocery produce aisle ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?"