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Joke of the Day

"What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector? One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at."

"When I watch an '80s movie I can't help but think about how all those malls are dead now."

"I have a friend who is a Jehovah's Witness. He tried to tell me a knock knock joke and got all pissed off when I ignored him."

"Why do black people where baggy pants? 'Cause they're knee grows!"

"A Clinton presidency is like an iPhone 7. I really don't want an iPhone 7, but I'll probably end up with one anyway."

"The Asian father reads his son's report card, where he finds a ""B"". ""B is for Burger King, where YOU'LL WORK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"""

"#feelthebern As a Jew I'm not sure Bernie is allowed to say that"

"Obviously you don't think you're ignorant! That's the meaning of ignorance!"

"Batman pushes a batcuffed Joker thru the crowd. ""Look! Hahaha!"" yells the Joker. Batman glances up at the jumbotron. GODDAMN the kiss cam."

"How was copper wire invented? Two Armenians were fighting over a Penny."