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Joke of the Day

"I can get into aquariums for free, because I donated a whale! I guess my ex's sister was useful for something after all."

"What do you get when you cross a monastery with a convent? A cloister fuck, obviously."

"Coworker: Oh, look how beautiful! It's snowing again! Me: *stabs coworker with icicle*"

"A certain leisure complex had a cinema and a swimming pool. One day, the cinema screen fell into the pool. The owners left it there and used it as a dive-in theater."

"Some racists say black people are just white people that were left in the oven too long... If that's true, then all black people would be jewish."

"Research says that if you're afraid of spiders, you're most likely to find them in your bedroom. I'm afraid of men with accents so..."

"Back in the day I was attracted to this chick but never had enough guts to ask her out but after witnessing first hand the drama she creates on Facebook I am glad I dodged that bullet."

"The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet."

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? No one knows, he hasn't opened his presents yet."

"Why do Trumpler supporters think he's honest? He told them he would be ""fourthreich"" and they misheard."